PK DekhKe KhisKe

Ok frds, the Peshawar incident had pushed me too far into a dark, sad corner to look at the other s*** going on around us, so I decided to create some of my own with my new DP. But now I have a new set of ppl to ridicule, and can stop making fun of myself. Thank God, that IS tiring, pretending to laugh with ppl when u know they r laughing at u, especially after u instigated it. Its like celebrating a self goal.

 

These saviors of mine are the concerned Hindus who are sooo disturbed by the latest movie on the block - PK. Love u guys, u take the limelight away from my Mungeri Lal, and you prove the theory 'When shit hits the fan, its distributed evenly, more or less'. Idiots are not restricted to any one region, religion or community. As a proud Hindu I was made to feel the absence of fanatical zealots to carry the Hindu flag. Well, we have them. Not in as much abundance as some of my more fortunate neighbours, but enough to be noticed.

 

PK makes fun of the Hindu religion, criticises its superstitions and customs, derides all Godmen. Now, what is new about that? Haven't we all called some of our parents' beliefs silly? I have, and a couple of decades later found myself imposing those very beliefs on my kids. Superstitions, by their very definition, are silly, customs not so much. Some customs have clearly understood logic, some have their logic hidden behind the veils of time, and some have lost their relevance with changing times. They, however, are a comforting link with our past. They are loke the frahrance of the daal maa cooked every day for dinner. The fragrance you hated at the time - "roz roz wahi daal" - and miss today - "maa, woh tere haath wali daal ab mahin milti." Perspectives change.

 

Coming to Hindu Godmen being derided, its for two reasons. One, not very many Godmen exist in other religions, not in India at least. Two, Hindus can take it. They didn't let the swords of the Mughals or the entreaties of the missionaries sway their faith, a couple of jokes in a dark movie hall are certainly not going to do the trick.

 

You have to remember what makes the Hindu religion one of the greatest without having taken recourse to crusades or Jihad, or having any Hindu imperialist. It is its resilience. It has its own inbuilt strengths that have allowed it to flourish long after so many other belief sets have vanished, or been pushed to the fringes of society. A hard-coded set of beliefs, if not modified with time, becomes irrelevant, like MS Windows. Hinduism, being open source like Linux and Android (they r the same, actually), shall withstand the test of time. But that is if u guys don't make it hard coded. And believe me, you can't.

 

So, isn't there anything wrong with our customs and beliefs? All sadhus and Godmen are real saints? Every case of an inter religion marriage a case of Love Jihad? There are so many Hindu organisations trying to cleanse our own system, why can't Amir Khan be used to say the same. So what if his religion is not perfect in your eyes? Just because I am bald with a funny moustache, don't expect me to refrain from commenting on your beetle stained crooked teeth and flatulence. You can then point at my shortcomings. If I am an idiot, I will wage war against you, if I am insecure about myself, I will slink away. But the grt guy that I am, I'll just laugh and say,"yeah, so?".

 

C'mon guys, these movie ppl are in the business of making money by entertaining you all. They show all politicians and policemen as stupid, all Punjabis as loud and stupid, all faujis as rigid, loud and stupid. You don't hear of politicians calling it a 'opposition ki chal', or the faujis calling it a move by bureaucracy to degrade them. TV shows all saas and bahus as conniving, yet all of them watch these shows religiously.

 

You can only ridicule those who are above all this. Even kids don't run over a rickety old bridge, they tread over it softly and slowly. Its only on the strong bridge that they jump and run. The moment it starts creaking, they declare it weak and move away.

 

So, you want to be the creaking bridge that nobody abuses, or be like me and say,"yeah, so?"

Darkness at Peshawar

Is it possible to have a black out on Facebook? Not technically enforced, but self imposed by all of us. Something in sync with the times we live in, with the blackness engulfing us. For the depths we have sunk to can have only darkness, inky, dark, black darkness.

 

Sometime back, while writing here about my feelings for my daughter (Post: Kyra), I had mentioned how nature has designed all humans to care for their progeny. This is actually true for all living beings. Nature has this design feature inbuilt in most species so that these species continue to flourish. Its only in the lowest of creatures that this instinct is lacking, and in those cases the young come into the world fully equipped to take on any threats.

 

In fact, so strong is this instinct that the feeling of love for the young and helpless is not just restricted within species. There have been widely reported stories of sows feeding puppies, bitches caring for kittens. Humans reach out for the young of so many animals. A stray dog may get kicked out of most localities, but a puppy will usually find someone to care for it.

 

Today, we as a species have risen beyond these design features enforced upon us by nature/bhagwan/Allah/God/rabb/the blue aliens, whatever it was designing us. Actually, let me rephrase that. Its not we, but some people. I refuse to club myself with such depraved creatures that have allowed the last vestiges of decency be plucked from whatever dark thing beats with in their chests. I just cannot imagine how such a large group could be programmed to be immune to the charms of those dimpled smiles, the horrors of those small bodies pumping blood on these monsters' feet. How could they ignore the pain that will plague the mothers till eternity?

Such mass behavior modification cannot just be the result of a religious ideology. Ideology, by definition, has to be restricted to thinking, even if irrational, human minds. It has to at least be branded onto hearts. There were no hearts or minds behind the hands that fired those bullets. Those were monsters on auto pilot.

 

Do they really expect houris waiting for them in jannat after this? Even the basest she-demons can not pardon this violation of young lives. Mr Zaidi may like to blame India, the Taliban may blame Pak army and the Pak army may blame the US drone attacks. No blame can be ascribed to the young child who was pulled out of a warm quilt by a loving mother and sent to school to improve his future. None can be ascribed to the young girl who reached school in a new frock and a bagful of toffees to celebrate her birthday.

 

Nothing can atone for the sins that have been committed on this day. There can be no mitigating circumstances, no justifications. There is no way these young victims can be called 'Collateral Damage'. This was not an attack, but a symptom of the depravity that is plaguing humanity today. It is the ugly tumor that indicates how rapidly the cancer is spreading.

Even if it serves as a wakeup call to the policy makers and the would be freedom fighters, it is too steep a price that has been paid. Nothing we do can ever take away from the enormity of this crime. And I fervently hope and pray that nothing is ever done to eclipse the magnitude of this crime.

 

Now, can we please try and have that black out I mentioned.

Uber's India Plans Raped

तुम ना wake up ho jao।

I don't care if police verifications take too long in India. I don't care if a central police database is not available. I don't care if police clearance certificates have been found to be forged. I don't care if mandatory police checks would seriously restrict your choice of partners/drivers.

I want to be treated at par with all your customers, anywhere in the world. If you follow a 3 step verification going back 7 years in the USA, you will bloody well do the same here. Or get the hell out of my country. हम साला छोटे नवाब के बेटे हैं जो sub standard service लें। ये हमें मुफ़्त में ride दे रहे हो? And this isn't some product or service that I'll have to discard for poor quality or support and suffer monetary loss. Your shortcuts have caused grievous harm to a person. YOU are guilty of this rape, guilty by omission. How would you guys feel if your kid's day care centre hired a paedophile, just because they didn't bother to check his references?

But is it just Uber that we should be blaming? All they did was get caught doing what every business is trying to do - cut costs, increase revenue. As shareholders we all want a business house to do exactly what we hate as customers, i.e. bleed us dry. The real fault lies with our administration, law makers and those executing them. It is because of poor administration that any body and everybody feels he is above the laws here. How come these Uber people have been accused of flouting so many norms after a person has..... suffered, to put it mildly. If these norms were not met, they shouldn't have been allowed to set up shop.

Or at least all Uber cabs should have been forced to carry a warning message, like cigarette packet, or a mutual fund document. 'Enter at your own risk. The Indian Govt, local authorities and Uber Cabs will not be held liable in case of fleecing, overcharging, robbery, rape or murder. All disputes will be subject to jurisdiction of the Hon'ble court of Cayman Islands. Passengers are advised to avoid napping and to carry mace or any suitable items for self defence'. If that is too much to paint on the car, the driver can play a recording, like the recorded messages played in Delhi markets by Delhi police to warn the public of explosive devices and such.

Wait, I am not done, not by just blaming Uber and the authorities. We too are responsible. We, the educated, enlightened, upper class citizens, those who can afford air travel and Uber cabs and scoff at bargaining and all things Indian. We don't bother to check anything before buying or hiring, not if it is 'imported'. The maid who has worked in your house for the last 10 years is surreptiously followed around the house as she performs her duties. Even a missing butter knife is proof of her 'aukaat'. But if the same person is sent by a 'Housekeeping Firm' with a fancy name, an upmarket office and an English speaking front office, we are thoroughly convinced about the moral fibre of the worker.

And then there is the question of indigenisation. We dont just need 'Made in India', we need everything in India. We get so many posts on FB about being Indian and buying Indian. These aren't totally without merit. Its not just about keeping our money within the country. Its also about self interest. I have already stated that then one aim of every business is to earn profits, so I am not going to say that Indian firms will look after your interests. Its just that a local firm is more susceptible to legal action in case of any misdemeanors. Think Satyam and Union Carbide. In case of customer uprisings, an international firm loses just one market, a local market risks losing its market. 

So, think Flipkart before Amazon, Meru before Uber, Bajaj before Suzuki, Tata before Honda. Definitely Tata!

Disclaimer. The author is not in receipt of any commissions from Flipkart, Meru, Bajaj or Tata of any kind, except a fierce sense of pride.

Who is the victim here?

Prologue: A young TV actress was caught in a prostitution racket. The media went to town with the story, even releasing the girls' name and picture. She was lodged in a remand home after reportedly admitting to her 'çrime'. The high profile business men and politicians she was supposed to be soliciting were never heard of. After a few days of being demonised by the media, a few women from the Film and TV industry started speaking out about this victimisation.

I don't really know how to react to all those supporting this horrible, horrible girl - Shweta Basu Prasad. Be appalled, maybe. Here is this girl, pulling innocent, homely men out of their families and subjecting them to the untold horrors of extramarital sex. Had she controlled her libido/greed, these men would have spent the rest of their lives serving their wives and loving their kids. None of them would have ever resorted to satisfying their baser instincts by forcing themselves upon some young, helpless girl, let alone any child.

Obviously, it is people from her own industry that are supporting her. Degenerate perverts, all of them. We have all our ladies abandon their families and sit glued to the idiot box watching these degenerates only for a lesson in what-not-to-be. These industry people are shocked at the violation of Shweta's privacy. The GIRL has been violated, period. What privacy? Terrorists get privacy, murderers get to cover their faces outside the court. They can't be provoked into retaliating against some poor journalist. What has this girl done to deserve privacy? Privacy is reserved for the poor men lured by her into a life of vice. The poor sods have even been denied the safety and comfort of a remand home. They have to stay at home and burn in remorse. This girl has at least been given a chance to repent for her sins in the remand home.

At least the human rights organizations that demanded biryani for Ajmal Kasab have had the good sense to stay out of this mess. As have the women's rights groups. They may try to get sex workers back into the mainstream, or legalize prostitution. But a vile creature such as the girl who shamelessly admits to luring innocent men into the pleasures of the flesh deserves only shame and ignominy. This is India bhai. यहाँ तो सीता मैया ने भी अग्नि परीक्षा दी थी। इस डायन को तो सूली पर चढ़ा देना चाहिये।

Hail the Fauji?....Nah!

Although a rarity in these days of sensationalism, there do surface occasional stories extolling the virtues of the Indian Armed Forces. These stories are usually timed to coincide with some calamity wherein the armed forces have to intervene and rescue some of their countrymen from a situation that should probably have been solved by government servants not in uniform. Makes sense, totally in tune with human nature. After all, no one finishes a meal of 'Maa' ki daal with a vote of thanks to the divine powers-that-be. But 5 minutes in a Haryana Roadways bus on a foggy, January morning, and every single deity is thanked. To put it simply, दुःख में सिमरन सब करें, सुख में करे न कोई।

Now, I am in no way comparing God to faujis (despite fighter pilots being prone to such thoughts). No way, you could never summon God to Uttrakhand or Srinagar or any borewell with just a phone call. I was just trying to amplify our 'Out of sight, out of mind' kind of mentality. I have experienced it firsthand often enough, on those long distance high altitude solo flights, when I couldn't see any of you land lubbers (or water lubbers). Incidentally, quite a few of these flights have been in planes that some of our journalists have dubbed as flying coffins. Obviously, they have learnt something I didn't after 20 years among these magnificent flying machines.

But coming back to these wonderful, rare articles, they often ascribe almost saintly qualities to every member of the armed forces. Now, this makes me very uncomfortable. Call me a cynic, but my experience is that people put you on a pedestal only to see you fall. Or you call someone too good when you want to avoid him/her. 'You are too good for me' is how many a pretty lass turned down my overtures a couple of decades back. 'Sir, you won't like it here' is how many a corporate honchos are turning down my job applications today as I try to re-attire into civvy street.

One task the armed forces are most often credited with is Upholding Democracy. The phrase conjures in my mind a picture of tanks and fighter jets (ok, and marine commandoes is all the naval component I can fit in here) surrounding the Parliament, mowing down hordes of Dictatorial Zombies that want to tear down this symbol of democracy. Come on guys, we uphold democracy just as much as Atlas holds up this earth - in your minds. We just follow orders. Upholding democracy or any other form of governance would imply political interference. That would make us like all other armed forces in our neighborhood where the chief fauji occupies the presidential suite to Uphold the political system.

And, more importantly, where is this threat to democracy from? None of our neighours wants to rule us. They may want our land, our markets, our movies even, but none of them want to replace our Government. Had they really wanted to do that, 13 Dec 2001 would have been a much more important date than it is now. These guys spent more time, effort and money on attacking a hotel full of tourists than this 'Pillar' of democracy.

The armed forces have a charter of duties, and they perform them, perform them well (mostly). It is fashionable to say they serve the nation, but anybody who is performing his duties - professional or civic - is serving the nation. It is fashionable to call them adventorous. Believe me, very few of these people go on adventure trips in their vacations. The few vacations that they do get are spent with their families, catching up on sleep or other household chores.

It is also fashionable to comment on the declining moral fiber of the average fauji. Well, believe it or not, we do not grow our faujis in a special petri dish. They come from the same society as you do. Whatever ails our society as a whole, will affect the man in uniform too. Its just that life in the barracks is designed to minimize these effects. After all, if the armed forces were like any other civil functionary, who would pull young Prince out of the borewell? And if every civil functionary was like a fauji, where would Prince get the open borewell to tumble into? (BTW, Shilpa Shetty kissing the kid got more press coverage than any of the faujis involved in pulling him out.)

Today, as public fascination for heroes subsides, we have aware leaders and members of the press corps enlightening us on the truth about the armed forces. One declares all those who join the armed forces do so to die. Another opposes the move for a war memorial since our armed forces are manned by volunteers. Most mothers bear their children voluntarily, but when they remind their sons of this sacrifice, he dare not turn around and say that she asked for it. Volunteering for a cause should not be a disqualification for credit. If volunteering for a cause is selfish, what is noble - court sentenced hard labour? Do they think compulsory military service is a better way to guard their borders?

If you still feel the faujis are doing a great job (and I hope you do), please treat them as anybody else. Don't begrudge them their evening tipple in a country where a bottle is the price of jumping a red light. Don't begrudge them a war memorial after spending crores on statues of elephants and their winsome mistress. Don't dehumanise them by clubbing them all in a class of their own.

And please, please, don't put them on a pedestal so high that you can no longer see them, and hence forget them. For a faujis favorite refrain to his countrymen is,

'I'll lead if you want to be led,

I'll follow if you want to be followed.

But what I want is to walk beside you

And be your friend'

P.S. Dedicated to Mr Gautam Bhatia, column writer par excellence with ToI, Mr Bhim Singh, enlightened visionary, and all the brave survivors of the 13 Dec attack.

Heroes

You may not realise this from my activity on social media, but I LOVE Facebook, absolutely adore it. Most people do - they get to catch up with friends, share happenings in their own lives, get interesting info/jokes. But that's not why I love it. I don’t like catching up with friends, don’t have enough going on in my life to share and know too much to need any info.

What I love it for is that it lets me preach without having to practice. It’s so easy here. I think of some idealistic things I should be doing and post these thoughts online. And some nice people on my friends list make suitably appreciative comments. The pages here are too public for any of them to give me a piece of their mind. My conscience gets a nice massage, as does my ego. The alternative would be to go out and actually do any of those nice things, but that is so much tougher. I mean, first you take the effort to actually put those thoughts into action, think of clever ways to tell people about it without sounding like a show off, and then wait for the right people to take notice and express their appreciation. Being a laid back (literally) pompous ass is so much easier. Whoever said that thing about good guys coming last, got it right the first time.

We do try and ignore the real do-gooders, the real deal. Maybe it’s because they make us feel inadequate.  And these heroes go unsung, as real heroes deserve to. There is a guy getting beaten up regularly cos he ensures education for children of sex workers. There is a guy who got a hectare of garbage dump cleared within no time and no money. A scientist gives up millions for the patent to a revolutionary plastic mix for roads. All very admirable, but too much work. All these guys got adequately ignored. The garbage disposal technique was ignored in favour of a garbage camouflaging technique that cost 5 times as much, while leaving the environment as damaged as ever. The scientist has got few takers for the long lasting, environment saving roads. Just imagine if these guys got to be famous, where would it leave honest, hardworking mediocre people like us? What would WE have to do for an iota of admiration?

But every society needs its heroes, so we go out and celebrate mediocrity, people who make us feel as if we cud have made it too. It’s always easier to see 'My kind of a guy' standing at the podium, rather than someone I never was. The first example that comes to mind is, and may the Gods forgive me for this trespass, Sachin. Great player, great human being, but Bharat Ratna? I mean all the people I mentioned above are doing whatever they are with only one desire - the greater good. Sachin does what he does for his own passion, and the money doesn’t hurt either. Can you imagine Tiger Woods getting the Amreeka Ratna, even if there were no birdies in the bushes? In this materialistic world, with zar, joru and zameen (wealth, women and property) being the basis of all transactions, financial gain (or the lack thereof) remains the only yardstick by which the nobility of intent is measured. But such minor details can’t stand in the way of creating heroes for our society, while giving the real heroes the anonymity they deserve.

I know, these statements can backfire on me. So many of my colleagues have been commended/rewarded for bailing out from a burning aircraft. It can be argued that the pilot did so only to save his own life. Of course, ordinary, folk can’t be expected to appreciate the professional knowledge, analytical skills, split second timing and courage such a decision involves. So we add a line or two about how he 'ignored grave personal risk in steering the stricken plane away from a populated area'. And when anyone does display any of the aforementioned skills in landing back a stricken jet, he has pretty good chances of enjoying relative anonymity.  A guy stepping out of a jet on the tarmac is so much easier to ignore than a guy descending from the heavens, leaving a wrecked jet in his trail.

No, I don’t grudge the Bharat Ratna, or the other awards. We all need heroes, heroes we can relate to. And the awardees are not totally undeserving. It’s just that there are other more deserving candidates. And when we overlook a more deserving candidate, the awardees- even deserving ones- appear unworthy. We may not be on the jury, but aren't we condoning the selection by celebrating these very selections?

I, for one, am not. I am just acutely aware of the greatness of the unsung heroes, of the insignificance, nay the absence, of any contribution from my side to society as such. I can’t be like them. And as I like to say, if u can’t join them, beat them.

Midlife Crisis

Dec 1997.

I was riding my Yezdi through a heavy winter rain from Delhi to Patiala. I had been discharged from R&R hospital, Delhi for 4 weeks sick leave after treatment for Hepatitis and Renal Calculus (Jaundice and kidney stone respectively, in common parlance). The doctor had recommended some diet restrictions, but there was nothing said about long distance bike rides.  

I was on a shiny, powerful new bike that invited appreciative glances on normal days (and in Punjab, a question – Boolt kyon nee lai?). I was on the way to a long awaited rendezvous. The wide open (single lane) highway was mostly devoid of traffic. My jacket kept the wet and the cold away (mostly).

Yet, the rain made me miserable. I just couldn’t wait to get out of it. I wished I had a car. I thought of stopping at the Liberty factory en-route, but the biker’s pride wouldn’t permit me to ask for shelter. So, I soldiered on, pushing the bike as hard as I could without risking a skid on the slippery tar.

On reaching home, I jumped out of the wet clothes (into dry ones) and under a quilt, while being served hot tea and a hotter tongue lashing by my parents. But I was so grateful to be off the bike, and out of the rain.

Jul 2014.

I was riding my Yezdi through a torrential downpour from Gurgaon to Dwarka. The water seeped through the tee and the jeans. I was sure the cell phone in my hip pocket wasn’t totally shielded from the rain. I was surrounded by 8 lanes of snarling, honking, impatient-to-get home Delhi traffic. The trusty old Yezdi hadn’t aged much, but the years of disuse had made the clutch a bit sticky, and it required some deft handling on my part. What a Yezdi always needs more than maintenance, petrol or oil, is deft handling.

And yet, I wasn’t missing my car. I didn’t regret the decision to ride the bike to college. And I realised that the people smiling at me were responding to the stupid grin stuck on my face. I think I was singing, or trying to sing something like “Raindrops keep falling on my head/helmet”. On reaching home, I didn’t jump out of, or under, anything. I stood dripping water in the garage, wiping my Yezdi dry. Couldn’t leave the chromed beauty to gather rust, could I. Then I flipped out my cell phone for a wet selfie, but the phone was too wet for the selfie. Sauntered upstairs, threw the phone in a bag of rice, and got thinking.

“So, this is what they call mid-life crisis?!!!”

Midlife - A natural stage that happens to many of us at some point, usually at about age 40, give or take 20 years. (Psychology Today)

Crisis - a difficult or dangerous situation that needs serious attention. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Midlife Crisis - Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques stating a time where adults come to realize their own mortality and how much time is left in their life. (Wikipedia)

In my case, yes, I just turned 41. So, I will accept the term midlife being applied to me. But I see nothing dangerous or demanding attention in my case. I do not think of my mortality, or of the time left in my life. The only time I think of is that left for me to complete this college course and get on with my life. I therefore refuse to accept any such crisis in my life.

The crisis theory, in my esteemed opinion, is just another theory floated to keep mankind (read male kind) in check, like the theories about heaven and hell. The benevolent patriarchs who were trying to frame rules at the beginning of civilisation just didn’t have enough logic to support their rules, and so they threw in the fire and brimstone to scare the living daylights, and all the fun, out of our lives. A progressive society needs workers, loads of obedient workers. And these workers need to be kept in check by too few of these wise men.

What most of us achieve at this so called midlife, is experience. We have had our share of our little rebellions. We have discovered our limits, and toed the line for almost half of our lives. In short, we have been there, done that. We know how much to care about the opinions of others. And we know where our own lives figure in our list of priorities.

This is where the machines send in the Agents. Neo has taken the blue pill, and it is now time for Mr Smith to enter the scene.  No scary sentinels here, just the bogey of the Midlife Crisis.

At 40, this is called the midlife crisis. 20 years earlier, it would be even worse, arrested development. 20 years later, it would be much more acceptable, such a lively old man.

It is such a devious ploy. First, they groom us to believe emotions are not for men. They teach us to take pride in keeping a clear head. And when we finally clear up our heads, they make us doubt our own sanity, and gain control of our thoughts and actions. Maybe this is why Khalil Gibran said “I have found both freedom and safety in my madness”¹.

So, do I not believe in this concept of midlife crisis? Sure I do. But for me crisis is ‘an emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person's life’. And this change is the experience and understanding we gain in these 4 odd decades.

So go on, enjoy this so called crisis, revel in this significant and radical change. And do not let labels define you.

P.S. For those of you who are still sceptical about my disclosure, I have another theory. Maybe it’s just the proximity of my beloved Yezdi that makes me feel young again. Maybe, I have found my fountain of youth. The bike is to me what his picture is to Dorian Gray.

Or maybe, just maybe, I AM having a midlife crisis.

¹ – Geeta Josie Khanna, thanks for sharing the quote by Khalil Gibran. I never read all this stuff on my own.

Racism: A Definition

So many people are today ashamed of being north Indians. And all because of some TRP hungry news persons. Actually, being with the media and PR deptt right now, I should probably be happy about the power media holds over smart, educated people such as my friends. But I also happen to be a cynic, and more importantly, a North Indian. So, I'd like to add my bit to this whole debate, howsoever limited my audience maybe.

What happened to young Tania was unfortunate, sad, deplorable. Would it have happened had he had big, almond eyes? Yes, it would have. Would it have happened had he been a strapping six foot NE guy with a couple of friends around? NO!

Racism is discriminating against people from a different race, place or culture. To experience it, go to Chennai in a car with a Punjab number plate. Or go to Bengal and talk in Hindi. Or just walk into a London pub with ur happy, brown, Indian face. That is truly racist. Picking on someone that appears alone and defenseless is just predatory. It could be a lone woman on a dark street, a tourist surrounded by a bunch of touts, or someone obviously not from 'around here'.

The former doesn't happen in Delhi or Punjab, at least not as much as in Chennai, Kolkata, London or Paris. The latter happens everywhere. No one picks on anyone bigger, stronger or better connected than himself. There is the territorial instinct, the predatory instinct, and above all, the instinct for survival.

So everyone, please stop lamenting about how ashamed u r of being north Indians, or Delhiites. If you think this is the only place exhibiting racism, you are being naive, or melodramatic. This is a trait exhibited by every living being, even some plants. Civilization was supposed to help us curb such base instincts, but no one is perfect, not even Ms Civilization. Even if it was a racist attack, labeling an entire community for the acts of a few is what is truly racist. So, in a way, you are all becoming what you condemn. Disowning your community for someone's act you don't like? Should have given up being human a few decades back.

So please stop being ashamed of being north Indian, or rich or non gay. Want to be ashamed, be ashamed for the starving guy you saw with out offering him anything to eat, of the shivering homeless on the streets, of the orphan you cud have adopted and given  a home. But no one wants to be ashamed of himself, not when he has an entire community to be ashamed of. Never look down at the mirror!

And be ashamed of how easily the media is manipulating your thoughts, of how easily you can be made to dwell only on the seamier side of our lives while all the sunshine withers away behind the news studio.

Thappad se darr nahin lagta.......

Make love, not war, they say. Do they even know what they are talking about? Love makes the world go round?!!! Do we really want to go round and round in circles? All these statements are just ploys to keep the benefits of wars limited to a select few, while the rest of us suffer, holding onto a very stupid emotion - LOVE. 

It is all the so called negative emotions that have kept the world moving forward, feelings like fear, hatred, jealousy. These feelings gave us fire, housing, nuclear tech. Have we ever heard of fear or hatred giving anybody AIDS? Love only created Hallmark cards. O wait, it was greed that created this industry.

Some people may counter saying art is born of love and beauty. All that love created are two bit works of fiction - Laila Majnu, Romeo Juliet, Shirin Farhad. Hate and war gave us epics like Mahabharata that are unrivalled even today.

Spiritual gurus tell us that there is a superhero within all of us. Geeky as it maybe, but there is an entire field of study devoted to superhero tales. Every superhero, it says, needs a nemesis to make him what he is. Batman didn't become a hero settling down into blissful matrimony with the Catwoman, but by battling the Joker or Bane. Superman is not famous as Mr Wonder Woman. He needs his Lex Luthor. The superheroes are superheroes not just because of the good in their hearts, but because of the evil around them.

So, the next time u find a spiritual enterpreuner telling u to find love within our heart, tell him off. Tell him, "प्यार में लोग सिर्फ जान देते हैं, पर नफरत जीने का बहाना बन जाती है" and go out to live your life, like superheroes......, or supervillains.

AAP's Animal Farm

Mr. Kejriwal has certainly got our attention. People can speculate regarding his intentions, but you just cant ignore the guy's determination and resilience. After Mahatama Gandhi, nobody has managed to stir up the political scene so vigorously. But the Mahatama had the 2nd world war help weaken his enemies. All Mr Kejriwal has got is over 60 years of moral decay and deep rooted cynicism eroding his support base. Add to that biased (read compromised) media and dime a dozen trouble makers, and he is ready to be condemned to history's dust bin.

That being said, nothing can condone the inconvenience being caused to countless commuters in the capital. Shutting down metro stations without warning on one of the coldest and wettest january days is absolute harassment. So, all of us stepping into the metro stations have been declared guilty without the courtesy of a judge, jury or a trial. While all kind of ruffians make it to the dharna site, hordes of policemen stop a bus full of officers short of their office, to prevent any avoidable incident. Well, if reaching for work on time is an untoward incident, they are certainly effective. Cant really blame them though, spending a cold wet day standing by silently.

Then there are those asking citizens to bear it as it is for their own good. Hmm, 'for your own good', now where have I heard that one before? Hitler, CPI, Naxalites, Shiv Sena? Oh wait, all of them. There is a thin line dividing affirmative action and vigilantism, and another thinner line dividing vigilantism and lawlessness. Maybe AAP needs to read 'The Animal Farm', before they find themselves walking on two legs and wielding whips. Or maybe they need to go to NDA (the one in Pune, not the coalition), to learn the importance of JOSH with hosh. They need to get their act together, for the sake of this country and the aspirations of a dejected, cynical people.

P.S. Wish I had published this one when I had written it, well before AAP made a mockery of itself. I publish it now, because Hope rules Eternal!